Home » General Chat » Circular File » Really funny
Re: Really funny |
Fri, 23 March 2012 18:10 |
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Buchanyank | | Crewman 2nd Class | Messages: 15
Registered: March 2012 Location: Buchan South,Victoria,Aus... | |
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There is a reason they got to be Old!!!!
A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.
The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.
So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.
The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun . . . .
"I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5. Then you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500," he says
This catches the senior's attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the Earth to the Moon?"
The senior doesn't say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.
Now, it's the senior's turn. He asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?"
The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.
He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail.
After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.
He wakes the senior and hands him $500. The senior pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks, "Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"
The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep.
If your backs against the wall you will see where the daggers are coming from!!Report message to a moderator
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Re: Really funny |
Tue, 21 August 2012 06:38 |
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Quote:My new party trick. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together.
I s hit you knot.
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Re: Really funny |
Thu, 08 November 2012 09:50 |
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Ron | | Commander Forum Administrator | Messages: 1238
Registered: October 2002 Location: Collegedale, TN | |
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Saw this today in an email:
Quote:Why Seniors Should Not Fly
I hate flying. Since I retired ten years ago, I drive almost everywhere I can to avoid the airport hassles.
I had to make a cross-country trip, so I reluctantly booked my ticket, packed, and went to the airport. Having read horror stories about the TSA, I was more than a bit nervous.
I went to check my luggage, and the lady said my bag weighed too much so I had to pay an additional fee. I reached in my pocket and got my wallet out to begrudgingly pay when the clerk said: "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to my Congressman about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card.
TSA security was a breeze after that, although I'm sure I'm on some list.
Ron Miller
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Re: Really funny |
Tue, 04 August 2015 12:51 |
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Ron | | Commander Forum Administrator | Messages: 1238
Registered: October 2002 Location: Collegedale, TN | |
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http://teachers.henrico.k12.va.us/varina/tyler_e/funcenter/a ngrysquirrel.htm
(In case the URL doesn't work)
**************************
"I never dreamed slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous!
Little did I suspect...
I was on Brice Street - a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown, furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me.
It was a squirrel, and it must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it -- it was that close. I hate to run over animals, and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me.
I barely had time to brace for the impact. Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels, I discovered, can take care of themselves.
Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing my oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his beady little eyes.
His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt!
I was pretty sure the scream was Squirrel for "Bonzai!" or maybe "Die, you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" The leap was nothing short of spectacular...
He shot straight up, flew over my windshield, and impacted me squarely in the chest. Instantly, he set upon me. If I did not know better, I would have sworn he brought 20 of his little buddies along for the attack.
Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans, this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!
Picture a large man on a huge black-and-chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and leather gloves, puttering at maybe 25mph down a quiet residential street, and in the fight of his life with a squirrel.
An
...
[Updated on: Wed, 05 August 2015 10:12]
Ron Miller
Stars! AutoHostReport message to a moderator
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Re: Really funny |
Sun, 15 January 2017 00:00 |
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Just reread this and I laughed as much as I had the 1st time around
Ron wrote on Tue, 04 August 2015 22:21 http://teachers.henrico.k12.va.us/varina/tyler_e/funcenter/a ngrysquirrel.htm
(In case the URL doesn't work)
**************************
"I never dreamed slowly cruising on my motorcycle through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous!
Little did I suspect...
I was on Brice Street - a very nice neighborhood with perfect lawns and slow traffic. As I passed an oncoming car, a brown, furry missile shot out from under it and tumbled to a stop immediately in front of me.
It was a squirrel, and it must have been trying to run across the road when it encountered the car. I really was not going very fast, but there was no time to brake or avoid it -- it was that close. I hate to run over animals, and I really hate it on a motorcycle, but a squirrel should pose no danger to me.
I barely had time to brace for the impact. Animal lovers, never fear. Squirrels, I discovered, can take care of themselves.
Inches before impact, the squirrel flipped to his feet. He was standing on his hind legs and facing my oncoming Valkyrie with steadfast resolve in his beady little eyes.
His mouth opened, and at the last possible second, he screamed and leapt!
I was pretty sure the scream was Squirrel for "Bonzai!" or maybe "Die, you gravy-sucking, heathen scum!" The leap was nothing short of spectacular...
He shot straight up, flew over my windshield, and impacted me squarely in the chest. Instantly, he set upon me. If I did not know better, I would have sworn he brought 20 of his little buddies along for the attack.
Snarling, hissing, and tearing at my clothes, he was a frenzy of activity. As I was dressed only in a light T-shirt, summer riding gloves, and jeans, this was a bit of a cause for concern. This furry little tornado was doing some damage!
Picture a large man on a huge black-and-chrome cruiser, dressed in jeans, a T-shirt, and leather g
...
[Updated on: Sun, 15 January 2017 00:10]
I know my minefields.. but I'm a chaff sweeper.
I used to curse when I got stuck in traffic... till I realised I AM traffic.Report message to a moderator
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